8 months: yesterday

Yesterday marked Emma's 8 month birthday.

Yesterday also marked two years since the last time I got to tell my dad that I loved him.

I didn't get the chance to blog about any of it because I stayed up too late making crepes with my cousins. It was a nice distraction. Laughing, eating too much (nutella filled crepes...yum!), and being with family.


Dear Emma, it's hard to believe that you are already 8 months old. I'm not quite sure how that happened. You are changing so much every day. We have loved watching you take it all in this month.

I don't think it will be long before you will be completely mobile. If you are on the floor, you are up on all fours, lunging around. You just haven't quite figured out how to coordinate the legs and arms at the same time.

You have the sweetest smile. It's a joy to watch you laugh and babble. You finally have a little tooth poking through on the bottom. Your toothless grin will soon be a thing of the past.

This month, you:
~eat just about anything (new foods: egg yolks, chicken, turkey, cheese)
~love to feed yourself
~have pushed yourself up from laying down to sitting a couple times
~have pulled yourself up
~only slept through the night twice
~are very entertained by Mason
~take two naps a day
~love to play in the bathtub
~play with toys
~sing out during church and giggle at your brother

I think we fall more in love with you every day. You are pure joy, Emma girl.

xoxo,
mommy

remembering

It's crazy how when I least expect it, I hear or see something that reminds me of my dad. Take last night for instance. Ryan and I were watching Friends on our laptop (we don't have a TV:) and when it was over I decided to check my email before going to bed.

I had an email notifying me that a subscriber had unsubscribed from my blog. I opened it and there was my dad's email address staring back at me. It was his work email and I am assuming that they closed the account. Then the tears just started falling (much like they are now as I type this). I miss him so much. I miss him reading my blog. I miss him seeing pictures of Mason and calling to tell me how cute he is and how he can't wait to meet him. I miss him commenting on all my cooking/baking posts. Whenever we talked he would ask me what kind of bread I was baking or what recipe I was going to try next. And then he would always joke that I should send him some.

I spent most of last night and this morning thinking about: my dad. And cooking. And his comments on my baking posts. And my dad. I made madeleines (post tomorrow!) and thought about how great it would be to tell him about them. Or send him some.

Then I remembered that I use to cook for him when I was little. Ok, not really cook, but more like make. When I was little, I loved to make my dad special sandwiches. I would open the fridge and take a little bit of everything (and I mean everything) I could find and slap it between two slices of bread. Then I would proudly carry it to my dad and wait for him to take a bite. He always acted like they were so good. Umm....gross. Sorry dad. But, thanks for making me feel so special as you ate my sandwiches that I lovingly prepared.

I wish I could make you another one.

I love you, dad

I've been thinking about this post for the last week and I really just feel like I need to write it before I can move on and post about something happy. My dad passed away last Saturday, after a battle with cancer. I feel like I have a big hole in my life, where my dad used to be. It doesn't even seem real, and I don't even know what to write. Except that God is good. Even in tragedy, He is good. I am thankful that my dad is no longer suffering. I am thankful that since everything happened so quickly at the end, and I couldn't be with my dad, that I was already together with my mom, sister, and the rest of our family. What a support to gather with them in prayer. I am thankful that I took Mason to visit him a few weeks ago. And I am thankful that God is unchanging in a world that is constantly changing. He is my Rock and my Comforter. I miss you dad.

sorta tired

Being the mom of an almost-5-month old goes hand in hand with just being tired. But, these last two weeks, I've been a little more tired than usual.

Maybe it's because I went back to work last week. I have an awesome class, but getting up early and devoting time and energy to my classroom is taking a bit of a toll.

Maybe it's because my sister and I drove to South Dakota last weekend for a whirlwind trip to visit my dad. He's in the hospital and it seems to be one thing after another.

Maybe it's because I've spent many hours thinking about and praying for my dad. Maybe it's because crying makes your eyes tired.

But, even in the middle of all the tired-ness I feel a peace and comfort that only God can provide. I am so thankful that Mason got to go meet his Papaw. In that short time, lots of memories were made. I'm thankful for a job that I love. And I'm thankful for a sweet sister. God is good.

And, on a lighter note...at least one of us is sleeping:)

His new favorite thing is to sleep with his arms up by his head. I love it:)